Preparing–

      Trying to get ready for not sure what and not sure when–Son is working on the process of becoming parental unit to Fireball but not a clear idea of what the continuum is or where the finish line is–  Meanwhile having her on the weekends, presumably until his daycare can officially enroll her–not that they offered daycare as a choice for me when I felt unable to take her full time–

      Rose will be here Sunday night to begin our summer journey of one week on and one week gone–looking forward to her Sunshine presence but still at a loss at exactly how to synthesize her time with Fireball’s–  Have had some practice on the weekends but wonder what it will be like if/when Fireball is here full time.  Will there be jealousy, instead of eagerness now about her “sleepovers”?  Will sharing previously owned clothes/toys/books lose it’s luster?  Will she feel displaced by the “newer model”?  Will daycare for Fireball seem more exciting than spending time with Grandma?

       And how will Grandma hold up here?  The past year has held such huge loss that was so debilitating and now there is restoration but somehow the energy to deal with it seems so insufficient.  I never expected this outcome at all and I am still at such a loss at how to deal with it.  I love Fireball so much and yet to trust in the fact that her presence may well become part of my daily existence is still an overwhelming thought—that I am at a loss at how to prepare for–

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